I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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