Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
