pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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