There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
