Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
