Kiss
Puke
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the day after is always just damage control
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
