i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
