just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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