i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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