so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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