If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
