How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
