Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize