considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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