Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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