That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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