thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
3 2 1 whiskey
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize