Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
