I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
