I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
