Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
stop calling my apartment porn island.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
