Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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