i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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