This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
