what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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