Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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