doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
