The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
