I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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