My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
