what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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