the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
