how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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