Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
