By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
