well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
