I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
