even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
