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You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
