Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
