i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
