Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
