Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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