remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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