the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
