..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
