your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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