I murdered the dance floor call the cops
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
