What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
