Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
