i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I came so hard my ears popped.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
