I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
