Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
