you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
