And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize