I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
