so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
