Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
