I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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