Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
