then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
